Home Sweet Home

Hi ya’ll!! We are finally home from our trip to Colorado and what an amazing trip it was. We left a little piece of our heart in the mountains. We will miss those gorgeous views, chill atmosphere and all the amazing people we met along the way.

Mistletoe treatments continued into week 3 and aside from some IV issues we wrapped up the week at 600 mg of mistletoe. We are working on the go forward plan but as of right now the plan will be to go to Washington DC once a week for maintenance mistletoe. I will also continue the injections I was doing prior to starting the IV mistletoe. Hopefully scans in a couple months will show improvement and reduced tumor markers. Continued prayers the mistletoe is working hard to heal the cancer within my body.

Our trip home was uneventful and unlike the trip out to Colorado, our flights were on time! We were all super excited to sleep in our own beds and to get back into the grove.

This week I am getting a port put in to help with future IV’s. With the daily treatments at Namaste it was clear that I needed a port. Being limited to only the left side (also the side where the surgery is needed to stabilize) for procedures is limiting and my veins are getting tired and scar tissue is starting to form in some of the go to veins. The right side is off limits since I had my lymph nodes removed on that side back in 2012. Procedures on the right side greatly increase my risk for lymphedema which we want to avoid at all costs.

One of the coolest parts of being in Colorado didn’t actually have anything to do with the actual State. I am not sure how she pulled it off, but my girl Emily mentioned that she had collected some cards for me to open while I was away. The night before we left she delivered a pile of cards (see photos). Cards were grouped by day with each little group containing anywhere between 3-5 cards per day. There was a LOT of LOVE packed into this little pile of cards. Each day I opened cards from so many loving and carrying people. Steve and Charlotte also had their own cards they opened which was great. The messages were so uplifting! I am not sure how Emily pulled off gathering cards from some many people but it was so amazing! I felt so loved knowing all those people were sending me positive vibes, prayers and love. 

                      

 

Its only Tuesday of my first week back home and it’s been a busy one to say the least. On our flight home I told Steve I was feeling sad to be going home because I felt like I was in a little bubble in Colorado. It was just the 4 of us (us and Sydney) spending time together. My focus was on the mistletoe treatments and working with the team there. I didn’t want to come home and face the reality of more decisions to make.

Aug 14th was a little crazy for me with the humerus bone information and the port procedure being scheduled. Steve and I both initially forgot that it was also our 8th wedding anniversary. It wasn’t necessarily a joyous day full of celebration but that’s OK. This journey is really testing our vows “in sickness & in health” but we continue to face this together even though it’s not easy. I look forward to a big celebration for our 10th in a couple years!!

Keep Calm and Colorado

The 1st two weeks in Colorado have just flown by! It is absolutely gorgeous here with all the mountain views at every turn (we may decide not to come back to MD ;o). Our flight out was an interesting adventure because our layover in Denver was delayed 5 hours. We spent a lot of our time in the airport trying to keep a 5 year old happy and entertained. She did great considering and we colored, played several games of Go Fish, watched movies and walked around. We were all a little tired by the time we arrived in Durango but we still explored the town a little that night and stopped for dinner.

Treatments started on the 24th of July. I started with hydro therapy and nutritional IV infusion. Hydro therapy is a Chinese medicine technique which is a series of rotating hot and cold towels applied to the chest/abdomen and back. This technique is used for promoting overall health and immune system strength. It is also used to help open up the blood vessels for better mistletoe results. The cold towel is quite invigorating and shocking. I can’t seem to get used to the cold towel and always do a little squeal when that part comes. The nutritional IV was to help give me a good base of vitamins, minerals and amino acids from the flight and change in altitude. Speaking of altitude, we all transitioned well to the higher elevation with no major issues. Each week I have a few days of hydro therapy and then a few days of acupuncture. I have mistletoe every day Mon-Fri.

During week 1 I had great energy and we ended up doing a lot of car rides around exploring the country side and we did some mountain climbing (in the car). The sites and views are just amazing and the pictures just don’t do them justice. We love CO and the food here has been so yummy. There are a lot of local grass-fed meats served with local produce and a lot has been organic, which we love and appreciate.

Mistletoe treatments started on Tuesday, our second day here. We started with 100mg and by the end of week 1 we were up to 300 mg, as we gradually increased the dose. Mistletoe can cause a reaction of itching and/or hives. The hives started at my injection sites form where I was doing the injections at home for the last few months. During the 1st week they were not too bad and typically would subside a few hours after the infusion was done. I had some blood work done a couple days into week 1, which showed my blood counts were pretty low. Not necessarily surprising since I was in my second week of my 21 day cycle of chemo. My oncologist decided I should stop this cycle of chemo so my counts could rebound (I have yet to complete a full cycle of chemo without stopping early).

During the second week, the mistletoe reaction was a little more than the Dr. really wanted, so we stayed at 400 mg. In addition to the reactions, my back pain started spiking Sunday night (the start of week 2) and continued into Tuesday night. It was the typical level 10 pain and we were worried we would need to make a trip to the ER; however, we were able to get the pain somewhat under control until it subsided. That second week started out rough and then on Thursday they added vitamin C to my infusion. The combination of Mistletoe and vitamin C was quite potent for me. When I left I had rashes up my arms and on my thighs and was itchy everywhere. I also ran a low grade fever and was snuggled in bed all afternoon and evening that day. Friday’s infusion was just the 400 mg of mistletoe and I felt totally fine after that treatment, which confirmed the vitamin C was causing more of the reaction. More recently we have had some IV issues getting a line started. Because I had my lymph nodes removed back in 2012 as part of my initial diagnosis, we are limited to using my left arm for IV’s, blood work, and blood pressure. Friday of the 2nd week it took 5 tries/sticks to find a vein that would work (totally no fun at all).  Once I am back home I will need to look into getting a port put back in because access going forward is going to be a challenge. 

Even though I had a few rough days, overall I have been able to get out and explore with everyone. Charlotte totally loves it here and tolerates some of our long exploring car rides really well. We have been able to do way more than I ever imagined and it helps that a lot of our adventures we can do in the car, stopping to take pictures as we see the sites. We attempted one hike on foot but didn’t get far before we turned around because I was tired. My niece Sydney flew out for weeks 2-3, which has been so awesome. We love spending time with Sydney and Charlotte loves having someone to play with. They have such a cute little bond. It has been really helpful for us to have Sydney here. Taking Charlotte to treatments every day during the 1st week was great, but she was getting tired of going. It’s been really nice for the girls to do fun things while I am in treatments. Steve typically works during treatments, so it’s been great for him to have that time and not need to entertain Charlotte.

I feel so blessed to be able to travel to Colorado for these 3 weeks. The atmosphere here is so chill and relaxed. Everyone is so friendly and they seem to just enjoy life living in Colorado. It is so different than being back home in MD. This trip has been truly wonderful for us as a family. We have been able to spend a lot of time together and really have quality time that we don’t seem to have an abundance of at home. It’s been a really great bonding time for us!!

Here are just a few of our favorite pictures of our trip so far!!

Day 1 (excited to get started)

James Farm, Durango (amazing view & food)

James Farm, Durango

Coal Bank Pass - Elevation 10,640

Coal Bank Pass - Elevation 10,640

Coal Bank Pass - Elevation 10,640

Pinkerton Hot Springs, Durango

View driving up Purgatory

Purgatory

Low counts means mask

Driving to Silverton 

We found this waterfall on our drive to Silverton

Chasing waterfalls

Wildflowers at Coal Bank Pass 

Wildflowers at Coal Bank Pass 

Four Corners (where Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado & Utah met)

Stage Coach Ride in Durango

Town of Telluride

Waterfall outside the town of Telluride

The Tell Tail Signs

Steve calls them phantom pains and I had them often over the last year or so. My most frequent pain was in my rib cage around the kidneys on the left side (which we now know is extensively involved in cancer). I would normally end up at Patient First complaining of kidney pain and diagnosing myself with a UTI. Inevitably, I would always have the beginnings of a UTI, but no explanation for the pain I was experiencing. Finally, after showing up at Patient Frist one too many times with the same symptoms, they recommended that I see an Urologist. On occasion, I would discuss my symptoms with my doctors, but the recommendation was always to try some ibuprofen and to reconnect if the pain didn’t subside. The pain ALWAYS went away within a few days. It was only in February of 2017 that I started to experience longer lasting pain. This pain started stopped me from doing normal tasks at work and at home. The pain was most prominent in my lower back, but I still had those “phantom pains” in my ribs. I had been working out and jogging regularly up until February when the pain became more intense. Despite my family doctor recommendation that I schedule an appointment with my Oncologist, I decided to look into chiropractic care for my pain. I had scheduled an appointment to see my Oncologist in April, so I figured I would give it a few months to see if chiropractic care helped.

The pain seemed to come and go despite the chiropractor adjustments and at times it was still quite intense pain. I started having issues sitting for long periods of time, standing, lying down, carrying groceries, and bending to pick things up. I was constantly icing my back, but nothing really seemed to help with the pain. I ended up in the ER one day during work because the rib pain was off the charts. I again was still thinking I had a kidney infection. The CT in the ER cleared me of any kidney stones, but guess what? I had the start of a UTI. I got an antibiotic and was sent on my way. I stayed in contact with my Urologist, keeping her updated as the pain was not getting better. She switched to a different antibiotic and scheduled a CT with contrast to get a better picture of what was going on. This ended up being the CT in April that showed the initial abnormalities that would lead to my new diagnosis.

My pain continues to be very intense at times and can quickly get to a level 10 in a short period of time. We are hopeful that treatments of chemo, radiation, and alternative therapies will help to elevate the pain soon.

Stage 4 Cancer

Hearing the words “you have cancer” a second time is just as devastating as the first time you hear those words. Nothing really prepares you, not even a week of knowing they saw something on a CT scan. It was a Thursday afternoon in April and my girl Emily and I were loading up the car to head to South Carolina for a girls weekend when I received a call from my Oncologist’s office. They had reviewed a CT scan that had been ordered by my urologist (I had what I thought was a kidney infection that was not getting better with antibiotics) and they wanted to see me that day. Because I was heading out of town for the weekend, they said they would touch base with me Monday to discuss my scan and to enjoy my vacation. Around this same time, my CT scan was released to me via the online medical record system, which allows me to review all of my tests and communicate with my doctors. The scan showed some abnormalities within the lower lumbar and included a recommendation that further evaluation was needed to rule out metastatic disease. My heart dropped as I read the scan, but I thought the recommendation could just be super proactive, and I was hopeful that other scans may rule out cancer. The weekend flew by and we had a great girl’s weekend. I was still in a lot of pain around the kidney area (T11) the entire weekend, but was still able to have fun even with the scan in the back of my mind.

First thing Monday morning I received a call from my Oncologist who requested I come in right away to discuss the CT scan. I went by myself on my way to work, which in hindsight was not a good idea. He discussed the scan and the findings with me and we lined up an MRI and a PET scan to confirm metastatic cancer. The MRI was scheduled for that night and the PET scan was later in the week. I knew deep down that these additional scans would show cancer, but I was hopeful that it wouldn’t be extensive. After a teary call to my husband Steve, he immediately went and picked up Charlotte (our 5 year old) from school and met me at home. There were a lot of tears as things began to sink in and the reality of what we may actually be facing took over our thoughts. My mom and sisters showed up shortly after we got home and we spend a few hours just talking and trying to maintain normalcy.

Friday of this same week Steve and I met with my Oncologist to discuss the results of the MRI and PET, which had not been released to me yet so I didn’t know what they showed prior to going in for this appointment. My Oncologist explained that both scans showed extensive cancer throughout my entire skeleton, primarily in my spine. My T11 was very advanced which explained the pain that I was experiencing in this area. The PET also revealed there was cancer in the lymph nodes across both sides of my chest and the nodes in my collarbones. Basically cancer had taken over my body with the exception of any organs or the brain (which is a good thing considering). I actually have cancer in the bones of my face, how crazy is that? A lymph node biopsy done the following week confirmed that my recurrence was ER/PR+ HER2- (the same breast cancer I had fought 5 years earlier)! This was hard news to hear and digest as we sat in the little exam room on a Friday morning. To say we were devastated is probably a gross understatement. To be 36 and facing a second cancer diagnosis in just a few years just didn’t seem real, and this diagnosis meant a lifetime of stage 4 cancer. Cancer in the bones and lymph nodes was a game changer for us.

And so begins this new cancer journey. My biggest fear has been a recurrence of cancer and most especially bone cancer. I watched my Dad deal with prostate cancer that spread to his bones and the pain that he endured was so hard to watch.

Shh, Don't Tell Mommy

This all started with a pink cupcake when Charlotte was 2.  During breast cancer awareness month, Charlotte's daycare had a bake sale to raise money for charity.  They displayed yummy treats for the parents to purchase as they picked up their child(ren).  Char asked her Daddy if she could have one, and because Daddy is the best, he said "yes, but don't tell your Mommy".  That same month, I had been doing a sugar elimination challenge with PPE, so I was in full on NO SUGAR mode.  As I entered the door from work that day, Charlotte greeted me with a big hug and whispered "I had a cupcake, but shhhh, don't tell Mommy".  We laughed.  It was cute, and I really wasn't mad.  "Don't tell Mommy" has become a little joke.  Although, Charlotte doesn't quite get the concept of a secret just yet.  Steve and Charlotte periodically (hopefully not that often) enjoy treats together when I am not around.  I try not to be a crazy "NO" parent when she asks for things, and it's honestly getting harder and harder to keep all those unhealthy treats out of her life.  She sees kids at daycare eating Munchkins for breakfast and Lunchables for lunch.  I try to explain the difference between healthy and unhealthy snacks so that one day she can make the distinction on her own.  She knows she can't have the fun kid yogurt at the store, because it has too much sugar.  Every time she goes to the store with us, she picks them up and says "these aren't healthy right"?  I think she secretly hopes one day I will have a different answer.  She knows she can't have candy, and she handles that pretty well (although M&M's did get us over the potty training hump).

During a family holiday get -together, someone was handing out Ring Pops to all the kids.  She didn't actually ask if she could have one, but watched as the kids ran around with theirs.  After a little while, she did ask what they were eating.  I explained how it was candy and that she couldn't have any right now.  I get so annoyed when people offer her candy, but honestly I was that person.  I wouldn't have thought twice about giving candy to my nieces and nephews a few years ago.  Soda, candy, desserts, donuts, you name it, I offered it and even went out of my way to buy it for them.  About two years ago, I showed up to my parents' house early one morning, and one of my nephews said, "you didn't bring donuts?  How disappointing!  You always bring good stuff".  Although I have made a full 180 when it comes to foods, not everyone feels the same, and I get that.  The best I can really do is make sure Charlotte understands the difference without feeling left out when it comes to treats.  And look out if there is a birthday party, because she knows that means cake or cupcakes, and she is totally allowed to have one :o)    

Jar Salads

Hello!  What's new with you?  Are you busy working through your New Year's resolutions???  I, for one, got a later start than originally planned.  I am among the many people who had that holiday cold/flu/sickness.  Mine hit on New Year's Eve, and my body took some time to recover.  Now that I am finally on the mend, I have to hit the ground running on my resolutions starting with my new meal plans.

Have you seen the Ball jar salad pictures on Facebook or Pinterest, or from my favorite organization Super Healthy Kids?  As I was thinking about healthy lunch options for myself and hubby, I remembered seeing these in passing.  I am in LOVE!  These are so incredibly easy to assemble, and the best part is, you only have to do all the chopping once.  I picked up six large Ball jars at Wegman's, and for the last couple of weeks, I put these salads to the test.  I chopped and assembled them on Sunday afternoon and by Thursday they were still fresh and delicious.  It's actually quite surprising how big the salad can be.  You can pack a lot of spinach and all your favorite veggies.  I throw in chia and sunflower seeds, and pack some homemade balsamic vinaigrette dressing to go (in a separate container).  It's great to just grab and go in the mornings, which keeps me and my hubby healthy and happy.

Salads are a great way to get in the vegetables your body is secretly craving.  They don't have to be boring.  You can have a lot of fun with salads.  I, personally, love to add in sunflower seeds, avocados, and hard boiled eggs.  If you like sweeter things, you can add in some pears, apple slices, or even dried cranberries.  Change it up with some homemade, healthy salad dressings, and you are well on your way.  It is SO easy.

My all time favorite salad dressing is from allrecipes.com.  It is super easy and tastes delicious.

3/4 C extra virgin olive oil

3/4 C balsamic vinegar

1 clove garlic, minced

1/2 tsp dried oregano

2 tsp Dijon mustard

1 pinch salt (I don't add salt)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!!!  I hope this post finds everyone excited and ready for a brand new year.


New Year's is a perfect time to take a step back and evaluate your life, goals, priorities, health, and fitness.  It's a great time to think about an elimination cleanse, adding a green smoothie to your morning routine, cutting back on some of the processed foods in your pantry, or starting a workout routine.


For me, the new year marks the start of a fresh, new 12 months full of endless possibilities and fun things to fill the days, weeks, and months with.


The last few months have been a little stressful, and although I try hard to separate work from my personal life and keep my stress levels low, it's not always doable.  Keeping things in perspective helps, and sometimes I just take a mental step back and think "This is not a big deal.  Just take a deep breath and switch gears."  I have little conversations with myself (hopefully silently :o)) as a way to stay in focus.


I don't usually set New Year's resolutions, but for 2015 I think I will work on a few ones for myself. I would love to hear what your resolutions are, and hopefully one or two are health related ones.

1. Continue the Body Beast workout challenge with my husband, but commit to 4 consecutive days each week for at least 90 days.  This has been something really fun we have been doing together.  We started in November and are somewhat slowly working through all the workouts.  It's hard to carve out time that works for both of us.  Some days we start at 5am and others days we end with a workout.  We have to be flexible by fitting it in where we can in between sore muscles.  Even on days we don't really feel like it, we need to do it.  I absolutely love strength training and am excited to see myself getting stronger.  I never thought I would be able to hold a plank or work on push-ups after my mastectomy surgery.  But I am slowly getting there, and it's great to feel strength and endurance.
2. Complete a sugar elimination challenge for 21 days (an initiative that PPE will be doing that will eliminate "added" sugars from your diet).  I have done this before, and it's a great sugar awareness initiative.  It's amazing to see just how many food products have added sugar when you start looking at the labels on your foods.  
3. Be more organized at home.  At work, I am a list maker, and I am typically on top of my game.  At home, not so much.  I tend to be scatterbrained and forgetful.  Chemo brain takes over, and I am not so on my game at home.  I find procrastination isn't good for a chemo brain person.  I need to be better at doing things in the moment when I think about them, because procrastination turns into forgetfulness.
4. Start and maintain a dinner meal plan.  Planning my meals with any regularity is so not my personality.  I know there is a benefit, and I know my entire family would benefit from a more organized meal plan.  I have gotten away from my Sunday meal prep, which means dinners are last minute and quick.  Not planning makes it easy to pick up the phone for take-out, which is not ideal when you are trying to eat a clean and healthy diet.  Plus, properly planning dinners will ensure we have leftovers for lunches or other days of the week.
5. Take time to really just be in the moment.  Some days I feel like all I do is run around, or maybe I physically am not running, but my brain is constantly thinking about other things I should be doing.  I am a person who sits when I am tired, but rarely just sits and enjoys a cup of coffee at home without opening my laptop or checking emails.  It's like I have an inability to relax and just enjoy a good movie or TV show without feeling guilty that I am not doing something else.  I need to enjoy life more, and embrace a guilt-free, relaxing time.  I am pretty lucky I have time, because there are things like cleaning and laundry that I don't have to do myself.  And I will be honest, I rarely go grocery shopping since my husband assumed that responsibility back when we had our daughter and never really gave it back to me :o).  So, you would think that all this would free up time, which it does.  I just fill it with other things that probably shouldn't take priority to family things I could be doing.
6. Start oil pulling at least 5 days a week. I have read and heard all about the great health benefits of oil pulling and I even tried it a few times. If this is something new for you read more here.   

Let the fun begin!!