Friday will be my first of 12 treatments of Taxol. This time around, the steroids are taken prior to going in, which entails talking 5 pills, yes 5, the night before and 5 the morning of chemo. I am anticipating a very sleepless night Thursday since I will be hyped up. I actually had a very sleepless night last night, so today I am definitely dragging as I am tired on top of my normal chemo tired. I am looking forward to less nausea with this round as I have been told it's not nearly as bad as with AC. I am hoping my appetite returns to something resembling normal as I continue to lose weight. I am by far the smallest I have been in my adult life (some people will find this hard to believe).
I am happy to report that my hair is very slowly coming back, or at least it seems to be. I am not sure if it will continue to grow as I progress through Taxol since hair loss is still a side effect. I still have my eyebrows and lashes thanks to Alexis, who recommend using Brian Joseph's Lash and Brow Gel. It seems to have done the trick, at least through phase 1 of chemo.
There are certain smells that trigger my gag reflex now that didn't seem to bother me before chemo. All are smells that I encounter during treatment. The hospital smell, the smell/taste of the medicine they flush my port with at the end of treatment, and other whiffs I get that just remind me of those smells. Just typing this makes me think of them, and I want to throw up on my lap top. I also don't think I will be able to drink anything that is red ever again. Hopefully cosmos will not trigger this or that will be so depressing. One of the drugs used during phase 1 was red, and you see it being administered through the IV. I actually hadn't really thought about that until the nurse and I were talking, and she mentioned how other patients have had a hard time with red liquid after they were all done treatment. That definitely ruined it for me.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Lots of Updates
Hello readers. I have been a little MIA. I haven't felt like talking or blogging for a little bit. I have been doing a lot of resting as I recover from my last "big" treatment.
It's exciting to say that I am 100% through my first phase of chemo (AC). I am 7 days out and doing pretty good, considering. I am pretty tired and have very low energy, but all-in-all I think I am doing well. I will be starting phase 2 of chemo on 6/1. It's a weekly treatment that will last 12 weeks.
Last week, Steve and I met with some new members of my Hopkins team of doctors. Monday, we met with my new surgeon, Dr. H. We both liked him a lot, and we talked about several different surgical options we are considering at this point. There are a few factors that we considered and discussed that resulted in my decision to have a mastectomy. One of the factors discussed is my need for reconstruction. After two surgeries and only a very small margin being "clear", the need for a third surgery was recommended. There would still be a chance that the third surgery would not result in a big enough clear margin. I currently need some reconstruction because of the current look and size of my right breast. After all the swelling went down and my milk finally dried up, there is a pretty big difference in size. It was also recommended that any decisions regarding reconstruction be made prior to starting radiation since that will cause future reconstruction to be a challenge, if not impossible, post radiation. The whole nature of a lumpectomy is to preserve as much of the breast as possible, eliminating the need for a mastectomy. Dr. H and I both agreed at this point a mastectomy with reconstruction is our best option. With that being said, I feel we should just do a bilateral mastectomy, which would greatly reduce my chances of recurrence of cancer in my left breast and also make both breasts equal again. They prefer to do a tummy tuck as part of the reconstruction, but unfortunately, I will not be a candidate for that. This will make it a little more challenging for my plastic surgeon since I have very little extra body fat. I will meet with my plastic surgeon in the next few weeks to discuss my options.
We also met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. A. I really liked her. She was very energetic and positive about everything. She was very firm on my needing radiation. Dr. H tried very hard lobbying on my behalf not to have radiation. Reconstruction would be much easier, and I would have more reconstruction options if I did not have radiation. Unfortunately, she did not waver on her opinion regarding radiation. I will start radiation 3-6 weeks after the mastectomy. I will receive daily treatments for 5-6 weeks.
On Tuesday of that same week, I met with the genetic counselor at Hopkins. We discussed the implications of genetic testing. I will not be publishing my results on this blog, but I should know my test results in 2-3 weeks. The biggest con was life insurance and the need to have the policy's updated prior to any testing. Unfortunately, since I already have cancer and life insurance will be extremely costly right now, it didn't factor into my decision. We also talked about the sociological aspects of knowing your specific statistics of getting cancer again. A lot of what we discussed was related to future preventative surgeries they will recommend if I am positive for the BRAC testing. The biggest one being that I should have my ovaries removed when I am 40. Oh, and have a mastectomy, which I am already planning on doing. We also discussed Charlotte and what we should do as she grows up to help with early detection. We can, of course, have her tested, but I am not sure that's the best thing at this time. We also discussed the importance of my brothers and sisters being tested. I am sure this will be something we discuss in great detail when we are all together on vacation in July. I am not sure if they have ever had a family tree listed that was quite as large as mine. Since my mom was the youngest of 14, and there are 6 of us kids plus 14 of my nieces and nephews, it was quite the list. One of the frustrations myself and the counselor discussed, was the misconception that breast cancer is not passed down from the father's side of the family. I cannot tell you how many people, and medical professionals, who have said that BC is not passed down from the father. We need to re-educate ourselves and others that this is not the case.
So, last week was a busy week, and there was a lot of information to process. I will say that although I am done my first phase of chemo, it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's there, but there are still a lot of steps before it is really close. Here is my tentative timeline. Of course, a lot will depend on how I do with chemo, healing after surgery, and radiation.
Mid Aug - Complete phase 2 of chemo
Mid Sep - Mastectomy
Mid Oct-Nov - Radiation
Jan-Feb - Reconstruction
It's exciting to say that I am 100% through my first phase of chemo (AC). I am 7 days out and doing pretty good, considering. I am pretty tired and have very low energy, but all-in-all I think I am doing well. I will be starting phase 2 of chemo on 6/1. It's a weekly treatment that will last 12 weeks.
Last week, Steve and I met with some new members of my Hopkins team of doctors. Monday, we met with my new surgeon, Dr. H. We both liked him a lot, and we talked about several different surgical options we are considering at this point. There are a few factors that we considered and discussed that resulted in my decision to have a mastectomy. One of the factors discussed is my need for reconstruction. After two surgeries and only a very small margin being "clear", the need for a third surgery was recommended. There would still be a chance that the third surgery would not result in a big enough clear margin. I currently need some reconstruction because of the current look and size of my right breast. After all the swelling went down and my milk finally dried up, there is a pretty big difference in size. It was also recommended that any decisions regarding reconstruction be made prior to starting radiation since that will cause future reconstruction to be a challenge, if not impossible, post radiation. The whole nature of a lumpectomy is to preserve as much of the breast as possible, eliminating the need for a mastectomy. Dr. H and I both agreed at this point a mastectomy with reconstruction is our best option. With that being said, I feel we should just do a bilateral mastectomy, which would greatly reduce my chances of recurrence of cancer in my left breast and also make both breasts equal again. They prefer to do a tummy tuck as part of the reconstruction, but unfortunately, I will not be a candidate for that. This will make it a little more challenging for my plastic surgeon since I have very little extra body fat. I will meet with my plastic surgeon in the next few weeks to discuss my options.
We also met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. A. I really liked her. She was very energetic and positive about everything. She was very firm on my needing radiation. Dr. H tried very hard lobbying on my behalf not to have radiation. Reconstruction would be much easier, and I would have more reconstruction options if I did not have radiation. Unfortunately, she did not waver on her opinion regarding radiation. I will start radiation 3-6 weeks after the mastectomy. I will receive daily treatments for 5-6 weeks.
On Tuesday of that same week, I met with the genetic counselor at Hopkins. We discussed the implications of genetic testing. I will not be publishing my results on this blog, but I should know my test results in 2-3 weeks. The biggest con was life insurance and the need to have the policy's updated prior to any testing. Unfortunately, since I already have cancer and life insurance will be extremely costly right now, it didn't factor into my decision. We also talked about the sociological aspects of knowing your specific statistics of getting cancer again. A lot of what we discussed was related to future preventative surgeries they will recommend if I am positive for the BRAC testing. The biggest one being that I should have my ovaries removed when I am 40. Oh, and have a mastectomy, which I am already planning on doing. We also discussed Charlotte and what we should do as she grows up to help with early detection. We can, of course, have her tested, but I am not sure that's the best thing at this time. We also discussed the importance of my brothers and sisters being tested. I am sure this will be something we discuss in great detail when we are all together on vacation in July. I am not sure if they have ever had a family tree listed that was quite as large as mine. Since my mom was the youngest of 14, and there are 6 of us kids plus 14 of my nieces and nephews, it was quite the list. One of the frustrations myself and the counselor discussed, was the misconception that breast cancer is not passed down from the father's side of the family. I cannot tell you how many people, and medical professionals, who have said that BC is not passed down from the father. We need to re-educate ourselves and others that this is not the case.
So, last week was a busy week, and there was a lot of information to process. I will say that although I am done my first phase of chemo, it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's there, but there are still a lot of steps before it is really close. Here is my tentative timeline. Of course, a lot will depend on how I do with chemo, healing after surgery, and radiation.
Mid Aug - Complete phase 2 of chemo
Mid Sep - Mastectomy
Mid Oct-Nov - Radiation
Jan-Feb - Reconstruction
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Thoughtfulness
I have to say how much I have enjoyed all the cards that have been coming
from the very start of all this. I get a card a couple times a week, and I have
started looking forward to the mail coming.
My work family has been the most committed, and I get regular cards from the groups and individual co-workers (along with monthly flowers, meals, and gift cards). I got a beautiful card with a pink elephant on it. I assume Ms. Cheryl made it. I love it.
Each card is special, and I love each one. I have them all taped to the back of my front door so I can see them often.
Thanks to everyone who has sent cards, flowers, gifts, and meals!!!!! A few of my girlfriends put together a basket of little gifts that I open on chemo days or days I need a little something special. Lauren put a little inspirational saying on each of her gifts that I love reading. After I open the gift I hang the saying on the refrigerator so I can read them during the day.
I was reading from my Chicken Soup For The Breast Cancer Survivor's Soul (a gift from two very special young girls who also made a beautiful blanket to snuggle up with). It had a wonderful story that is so true. This is from memory so hopefully I get it right. It was about a lady who called to tell her aunt, a survivor, that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The first thing her aunt said was you will never feel so loved in your life. This really is true. So many people have reached out even just to say that they are thinking and praying. Each gesture means so much to me, Steve, and Charlotte!
My work family has been the most committed, and I get regular cards from the groups and individual co-workers (along with monthly flowers, meals, and gift cards). I got a beautiful card with a pink elephant on it. I assume Ms. Cheryl made it. I love it.
Each card is special, and I love each one. I have them all taped to the back of my front door so I can see them often.
Thanks to everyone who has sent cards, flowers, gifts, and meals!!!!! A few of my girlfriends put together a basket of little gifts that I open on chemo days or days I need a little something special. Lauren put a little inspirational saying on each of her gifts that I love reading. After I open the gift I hang the saying on the refrigerator so I can read them during the day.
I was reading from my Chicken Soup For The Breast Cancer Survivor's Soul (a gift from two very special young girls who also made a beautiful blanket to snuggle up with). It had a wonderful story that is so true. This is from memory so hopefully I get it right. It was about a lady who called to tell her aunt, a survivor, that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The first thing her aunt said was you will never feel so loved in your life. This really is true. So many people have reached out even just to say that they are thinking and praying. Each gesture means so much to me, Steve, and Charlotte!
It's Official...I Have Chemo Brain
Chemo brain is here. Since I will be having treatments for a few more months, it looks like my CB will be here for awhile. I am not sure I ever fully recovered from the infamous prego/mommy brain, so at least those close to me are semi used to it.
I will think of something I have to do in the morning, and by the afternoon, I have completely forgotten about it. Sometimes I will remember hours after I should have done something, but most of the time I only remember if someone asks me or I see it written down. Or sometimes, it just randomly pops back in my head. I also have to be fully focused on what someone is saying, or I won't even remember conversations. If you tell me something important, don't feel bad asking if I wrote it down. It's like I am in a little fog.
I will think of something I have to do in the morning, and by the afternoon, I have completely forgotten about it. Sometimes I will remember hours after I should have done something, but most of the time I only remember if someone asks me or I see it written down. Or sometimes, it just randomly pops back in my head. I also have to be fully focused on what someone is saying, or I won't even remember conversations. If you tell me something important, don't feel bad asking if I wrote it down. It's like I am in a little fog.
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